Thom Rainer (President of Lifeway Christian Resources) just posted an entry on his blog about seven ways that a pastor's family needs to be protected. You can read the whole post here. The abbreviated list is this:

1. Some churches have unreasonable expectations of the family members of pastors. 
2. Too many pastors put church members before their family members. 
3. Some church members are critics of the pastor’s spouse. 
4. Some church members are critics of the pastor’s children. 
5. Pastors’ children can rebel. 
6. Too many pastors get too involved with church members of the opposite gender. 
7. Low pay can put stress on the pastor’s family.

Thom served as our interim pastor at Northside Baptist Church around 2000-2001. He is a good man, a great communicator and leads a large organization in Nashville, TN.

Thom's list seems pretty natural in the typical church setting. But what if a ministry wasn't "typical"? How would this list be different?

 - Expectations - What if a group of people loved each other enough that expectations were dropped to minimals? That even the pastor was given room to fail? People who attend church all their lives have learned different responsibilities taken on by their many pastors. The idea of all those responsibilities culminating and being placed on one person is a bit overwhelming. In today's leadership, you can't miss an email, have to return every phone call, reply to every text, be available 24/7, know every status posted on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, never miss a hospital visit or procedure, recognize every birthday, answer every theological question and deal with every crisis/issue. Never mind that you might be having your own personal crisis. That is just an abbreviated list of expectations. Personal behavior wasn't even mentioned yet!

Is it possible to be a leader of group of people and not be the leader? Wouldn't that be the ideal situation? What if the pastor was just like everyone else? What if everyone that was a part of the church/community had the same responsibilities? What if all the hospital visits were shared by everyone, crisis dealt with by many who are capable? What if the teaching responsibility was shared among the spiritually mature? It seems like most of the items listed in Thom's list would become less significant as part of the group. Can a pastor lead in such a way that help which comes from others is seen as ministry fulfilled by the group?

Without sounding pious... the only real leader is Jesus. Colossians 1:18 - He is also head of the body, the church; Jesus works in the lives of all believers. As they choose to follow His lead, ministry will be done... by Him. Can we not trust that truth enough to see it happen? If that is the case, He will provide plenty for #7.

Assumptions are made all day...

Assumptions are based upon the thoughts that pop in your head from seeing, smelling, touching, hearing and even tasting. Thoughts come from two other places as well but it is not time to jump into that at this moment.

So all day long you see statuses and media on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Then you hear snippets about people which are either truth or rumors. Then you sit in the isolation of your thoughts and process what all you have collected. Those thoughts, whether truth, rumor, lies or misconceptions begin to formulate with your level of wisdom and evolve into what you think about people and things.

Based upon your wisdom and input you have received you could either be right on target or totally in left field (that is a baseball term for as far off as you can be). Odds are if you are getting information somewhere other than a direct source and you are adding your own assumptions to the mix... you're probably in left field!

Someone said the other day, "Ok--- call it a ministry but u currently pastor a "church". Same thing, different title." That is what you think but you have no idea what is happening with this ministry or even what is being taught. You have your rumors, assumptions and thoughts but you have never experienced any of it personally.

To be perfectly honest with you, everything that was learned, taught and practiced has been or is being unpacked and reprocessed through the Spirit. No more committees, no more budgets, no more calendars full of meetings and programs, no more offering, no more invitations at the end of a "worship service", no more membership, no more church growth principles, no more marketing, no fundraising, no more condemnation, etc.

There is a lot more reading/studying the Word, more sincere personal relationships, more breakfasts, lunches and dinners, more trust, more adventure, more taking, more giving, more transparency, more prayer, more love, more grace and more understanding.

It use to be explainable... it is not any more. 

See... how many thoughts and assumptions were just made in those last two full paragraphs?

Let's talk about it... directly!